How to Flirt Effectively

Did you know only 10 percent of communication is verbal? The remaining 90 percent of communication is expressed through a person’s actions…

“Flirts” is a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another.

Flirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to another person.

Among these, at least in Western society are:

* Eye contact, batting eyelashes, staring, winking, etc.
* “Protean” signals, such as touching one’s hair
* Giggling, or laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other’s behavior
* Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man’s arm during conversation
* Smiling suggestively
* Sending notes, poems, or small gifts
* Flattery
* Online chat, texting and other one-on-one and direct messaging services
* Footsie, the “feet under the table” practice
* Teasing
* Staging of “chance” encounters
* Imitating of behaviors, e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, etc.
* Coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness, e.g. pickup lines.

Flirts can consist of conversation, body language or brief physical contact.

How to flirt may be one-sided or reciprocated (even encouraged) with the intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level.

Flirts may involve speaking or acting in a way that suggests greater intimacy…

This is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other)…

Without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms.

This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony.

Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.

While some of the subconscious signs are universal across cultures, flirting etiquette varies across cultures which can lead to misunderstandings.

There are differences in how closely people should stand, how long to hold eye contact and so forth…

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting.

However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities.

You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to.

Keep your options open…

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident…

Perhaps she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her.

Remember that all you are buying is a drink.

Don’t expect her to fall at your feet.

Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away…

Then look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her.

Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them.

Make a genuine effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group.

No woman wants to feel like second best.

Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group.

You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don?t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain it is a genuine compliment.

There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines.

Everyone has something great about them, notice the positives aspects and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited.

Some women have no objection to physical closeness or emotional openness encounters, others are horrified by it.

Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her.

Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and not touching, until you know more.

Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times…

Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable.

Don’t hover or grovel or act desperate.

Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

As mentioned people flirt for a number of reasons.

It is often used as a means of indicating interest and gauging the other person’s interest in a relationship.

Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex.

In other situations, it may be done simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship.

This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious,…

Or it may be viewed as “cheating” if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.

So how do you achieve that point half way point online without using eye contact or body language?

After all, you do have a computer an internet connection or membership in an online dating site, right?

1. Have fun. Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.

Make her eager to talk to you again. Flirting is playful.

2. Confidence. Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life. You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.

An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3. Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.

Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself. She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.

Do not be self depreciating.

4. Listen…listen….listen. Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions. Get her to open up and talk about herself.

Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.

Really does work wonders!

5. Don’t be rude. Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you.

If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on.

If you get a lot of rejections, you want to consider a different approach.

6. Send an email after you chat.

This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Flirt slow, no need  to go fast.

Flirts can be the first step to opening up the romantic opportunities for communication “breaking the ice” and a successful relationship…